How often is our judgment accurate?

Driving home this afternoon after what I judged to be a relaxing walk at the local dog park, I was angry and frustrated. My judge immediately started to look for the reason to justify how I felt. At this moment, I noticed the following.

A car turned into my lane. I noticed the car was driving a little slower than the traffic speed while being too close to the center lane for my comfort. Simultaneously I noticed a motorcyclist coming down the center lane trying to pass the cars in front and to the right of me. It appeared that the driver in the right lane had slowed and moved to the center of the lane. My judge felt that both drivers in front were trying to block passage to the motorcyclist. And my judge went into righteousness. I mean, what the hell, who are they, how awful, how dangerous. You get the idea.

Then just like that, the driver in the right lane turned right, and the clouds cleared away. I could now see that the driver in the right lane slowed and moved more center as he neared his turn. The driver in front of me was driving at a speed comfortable for them. And yes, too close to the center for my liking. They were not thinking of the motorcyclist.

Then I remembered my feelings and realized that my judgment is often not accurate. I decided to stop the judging, and while I didn’t particularly appreciate how I felt, I would allow it to be.

Then I remembered that the walk at the park was clouded as well. I had been on my cell phone while walking and was talking to a friend of mine. She was upset and angry with me. An online group of people was complaining about her, and I didn’t want to get involved. She wanted me to fight her battle online, and I didn’t want to.

A little background may help you understand. My friend is a retired dog trainer who takes her dogs to the dog park every day. And she often helps others by taking their dogs if they can’t. She will exercise and allow them to socialize. And she will also help them correct and learn good behavior with their other four-legged friends.

I love what she does, but not everyone else agrees with me.

A group of people has started to complain about her taking these dogs to the park. They would prefer that only owners come with one or two dogs to sit and socialize. Well, from a clouded distance, that sounds reasonable. But as with wrong judgment, when the clouds clear, you see what is happening. These folks don’t want to exercise or socialize with their dogs. They want to hang with their friends and not watch their own dog’s behavior.

I have watched dog owners allow their dogs to run wild and dig up the park, play a little too rough with the smaller dogs, hump dogs along with other unwanted behavior. These people aren’t watching their dogs, and some are even okay when their dogs hump others. I have watched others leave the park after their dogs are bitten or attacked and these folks don’t even notice or care. Yet, here is a trainer, watching her animals. She is actively exercising and socializing these dogs, and she is the issue?

I understand her frustration. But this isn’t my battle. I am not comfortable jumping in telling them what “my judge” says.

What felt like an innocent drive home was me up in my head thinking this over and not realizing that was causing my anger and irritation. And yes, my judgment of the other cars and drivers.

Maybe we all need a time-out. Let’s notice and leave our judge at home.